Going with the flow, thoughts to hang on to as change sweeps you along through life."

I am running into a new year and the old years blow back like a wind that I catch in my hair like strong fingers, like all of my old promises; and it will be hard to let go of what I said to myself about myself when I was sixteen, and twenty six, and thirty six, [and, forty six, and fifty six, and sixty six] but I am running into a new year, and I beg what I love and I leave to forgive me"

 Quote by:  Lucille Clifton, from Good Woman:  
 Poems and a Memoir 1969 - 1980


"Disconnecting from change does not recapture the past, it loses the future"
 Quote by:  Kathleen Norris

"Every moment of one's existence one is growing into more, or retreating into
 less."    Quote by:  Norman Mailer

"Change when it comes,  cracks everything open"  Quote by:  Dorothy Allison

TRANSFORMATION - Altered States
Excerpts from Quotes by:  Martha Beck, author of The Joy Diet [Crown] and Expecting Adam [Berkley]

The first phase of change is the scariest.  Most people fight like crazy to keep their identities from dissolving.  What goes on in the cocoon of change is always beautiful, they are the phases of human Metamorphosis:
 
Phase One:    Dissolving - Live in the moment.  Instead of dwelling on hopes and fears about an unknowable future, focus your attentions on whatever is happening right now in the "Cocoon" by caring for yourself in physical, immediate ways.  Talk to others who have gone through a metamorphosis.  Let yourself grieve.  Even if you are leaving an unpleasant situation [a bad marriage, a job you didn't like]  you'll probably go through the normal human responses to any loss and the emotional roller coaster called the grieving process:  denial, anger, sadness, and acceptance.  Your willingness to just experience these feelings will help them pass more quickly.
 
Phase Two:    Imagining - You'll know you're beginning Phase Two when your
mind's eye starts seeing images of the life you are about to create.  The old
order simply seems wrong, and you'll begin reordering your outer situations to reflect your inner rebirth.  Cut out magazine pictures you find appealing or interesting.  The resulting collage will be an illustration of the life you're trying to create.  Let yourself daydream.  Your job is to try out imaginary scenarios until you have a clear picture of your goals and desires.

Phase Three:  Re-forming -  Expect things to go wrong.  Every time your plans fail, you'll briefly return to Phase One, feeling lost and confused.  This is an opportunity to release some of the illusions that created hitches in your plan.  Many people feel that an early failure is a sign that "it just wasn't meant to be."  This is a useful philosophy if you want to spend your life as person soup."  To become all that you can be, you must keep working toward your dreams even when your initial efforts are unsuccessful.  Be willing to start over.  

Phase Four:   Flying - Is the payoff, the time when your new identity is fully formed and able to fly.  Make small improvements.  Find little ways to make your new life a bit less stressful, and a bit more pleasurable.  Enjoy !!!   Know that another change is just around the bend. "Don't attribute your happiness to your new identity; security lies in knowing how to deal with metamorphosis, whenever it occurs."  

The Buddhist Non Pema Chodron once told a mentor "that she was upset because she was changing jobs and moving, and that she had trouble with transition."  He looked at her sort of blankly,  Chodron writes, and said, "We are always in transition ...  If you can just relax with that, you'll have no problem."  This is true for all of us.  Just accept the process of metamorphosis:  At times you may feel it's the end of the world.  But just remember that what the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.

"O" The Oprah Magazine